Sample fight scene - by Herrick Erickson-Brigl

One of the things that defines my writing style is my fight scenes.  I have been told that they are intense, cinematic, brutal, and have a mild humor to them.  Some of you probably aren’t all that into the long setup, so below is short summary labeled "Setup", then I’ve bolded the start of the fight, so you can skip to the good stuff. 

Setup:  This is between two guys, one is named Soren, one of the two main characters in my book "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest".  He is purely a hand to hand fighter.  The other is Soka, an assassin who uses a long sword.  I hope you enjoy it.

To get you in the mood:  Listen to “Trollhammaren” by Finntroll

Soka and Soren faced off on the wooden dance floor of the bar.  The area was wide enough for the two of them to fight and not hurt others. 

Soka threw off his dark cloak and revealed a man clothed in a black tunic and long tight fitting tan pants, bound together with a rope at his waste.  His face was scrunched up in anger.  He slowly drew a long sword from his belt, the blade made a hissing whisper as it was removed from the sheathe.  All the while, Soka was holding Soren firmly in his gaze.

Soren was wearing a red sleeveless shirt and loose fitting black pants.  On either hand he had sturdy metal gauntlets.  Soren bent down and stretched his back.  He turned his neck from left to right and popping it with a series of clicks in rapid succession.  Then, he proceeded to do the same with the rest of his body as he loosened up the rest of his body.

“Don’t hold back or I am going to break you.” Soka snarled at Soren.

Soren shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and slowly brought one foot behind his back.   He put his weight on it and brought an open palm up, “Wait.” he said and put his hand up to say “stop”.

Soka turned his head in curiosity.

There was a band of players to Soren’s right and they had an array of instruments.  The jaunty toons that brought the bar to life came out of their instruments.  They had everything from woodwinds, to percussion, to string instruments in their possession and were quick skilled with them. 

Soren looked over at a band of players.  He reached into his pants, pulled out a coin purse, and tossed it to them.  “Play something I can tap my foot to.” He said with a winning smile.

The band leader grabbed the purse out of the air, “One two...” he tapped off, then his band began playing a quick, pumping melody.

Soren turned his attention back to the fight, “Now, where were we?” and with a quick flick of his hand, as if to say. “Come on.” Towards Soka, the fight was on.

Soka rushed at the Soren.  He dipped and weaved right as he was about to reach him and slashed downwards with the sword.  Soren parried with one of his gauntlets and the blade clashed against the metal strapped to Soren’s arms with a shriek that sent sparks flying into the air.  The swordsman was quick and uppercut slashed at the hand to hand warrior, attempting to catch Soren from stem all the way to stern.

Soren sidestepped to the right just enough and the blade passed a hairs breath from his face. 

Quickly, before Soka could respond with a follow-up, Soren swiftly punched Soka in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of the swordsman, and stunning him for a brief moment.

The fight had taken Soren and Soka dangerously close to the edge of the arena and Soren had his back almost to the wall, despite his counter offensive.

Soka was still open for more attacks though and Soren was not done.

The quick blow had opened Soka up for another attack and Soren obliged him, putting a simple sidekick into the swordsman’s stomach, doubling him over.  Soren followed that up with a quick rising uppercut.

The crowd watching their fight let out a collective wince for the man.

Taking the opening and using the environment to his advantage, back flipped onto the wall and pushed off towards Soka.  The maneuver sent him front flipping towards Soka and just before he reached the swordsman, Soren flattened his body out, feet first.  Instead of colliding with his adversary though, Soren opted to wrap his feet around Soka’s neck instead. 

The maneuver caught Soka off guard as he was recovering his wits, once again.

Soren gave him an apologetic shrug, mid air.  As if to say, “sorry” for what was going to come next.

Soren used his momentum in a creative, instead of piling into his opponent; instead, he jerked to the right and swung around Soka.  Then, when he was directly behind his opponent, Soren curled his legs into his body and angled his body towards the ground, changing the direction of his fall, putting the weight of his jump into a powerful throw.

Soka was pulled off his feet violently and was thrown across the floor.  He skidded and tumbled along the ground, uncontrolled.  He was stopped by the other end of the dance floor, about five feet from the wall at the back of the dance floor..  A groan escaped his lips as the pain from the attack started setting in.

Soka looked up and his eyes opened with surprise. 

As Soren was about to let go of Soka, during the throw, he had planted both hands on the ground.  When he completed the attack, Soren sprang off his hands, throwing himself into a quick back spring, followed by another, another, and another to build momentum.  When Soren was almost to Soka, Soren bounded off the ground and threw himself into a spin that would have made an expert gymnast jealous.  Flattening out in the air like a sideways whirling tornado, so that his body was perpendicular with Soka’s as he neared the fallen swordsman, Soren’s spin got increasingly fast as he whipped his arms in and out, efficiently putting Soren into an almost uncontrollable rotation, arced at Soka.

Just as Soren was about to reach Soka, the warrior threw one of his legs out, shin angled down.  The entire force from the spin was pushed into his leg.

The entire room was silent and it was as if time itself was holding its breath as Soren descended.  Every person watching the fight was so enthralled, watching for the next move in the epic fight.

Soka barely had time to breath, let alone dodge.  But, it was a testament to his experience in battle that Soka kept the presence of mind to roll to the right in a desperate dodge, towards the wall of the dance floor.  Just in time. 

Soren’s leg smashed into the ground, slamming into the ground with his knee and shin flat into the wood, crushing the floor into a torrent of splinters that rose up around him in the air.

Seeing Soka dodge, most warriors would have allowed their opponent to stand up.  That was the honorable thing to do.  But, there are no rules in a bar fight.

With the speed of a cat, while the splinters were still hanging mid air, Soren spun his body around and swept his foot towards his opponents head.  The attack was so quick that Soka wasn’t hurt; it actually pushed the assassin a foot and a half into the air. 

Soka was curious, why had that not hurt?

That was Soren’s intention. Swiftly, Soren rolled forward and halfway through, slid straight, so that he slid under Soka and stopped facing the rising assassin’s back. 

Soren cocked both arms back and double punched upwards into Soka’s back.  Air whooshed from the swordsman’s lungs as he was pushed even higher into the air.  The impact from the attack gave Soren a couple feet between him and Soka.

Soren looked to his right and saw the lip of the dance floor, just an arms length away now, “This is going to hurt you, just as much as it is going to hurt me.” Soren promised Soka with a forewarned wince.

Soren quickly performed a handspring to his feet, crouched just under Soka with his legs coiled underneath him.  Soren exploded from the ground towards Soka's rising form.  He grabbed the assassin around the waist, twisted mid air, and arched the two of them towards the wall, easily angling Soka head first, towards the raised lip of the dance floor.  

Soka collided with the raised floor and his head plowed through the woodwork with a painful cracking and crunching sound as the wood shattered under the enormous pressure from the attack. 

Soren let go and managed to aim himself towards the level below.  He landed with ease and rolled to his feet.  Then, Soren looked back at the assassin and a look of brief sadness flashed across his face. 

Soka's body hung vertical for the briefest moment, suspended in an ephemeral moment in time, then he collapsed, head still firmly stuck into the ground.  The rest of him hit the ground in an uncomfortable position, but Soka was still breathing.

"That had to hurt." Soren said to himself.  He looked down at one of his hands and noticed one of his nails bleeding. "Dammit!  I broke a nail!" He exclaimed in frustration.

***

If you liked reading this blog, check Herrick Erickson-Brigl out on Twitter, or friend him on facebook if you like.  Also, to your right you will find the first three chapters of his book, "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest", listed under the "Pages" section.  It will be available May 15th in hard copy and ebook formats.

Twitter: www.Twitter.com/Hericksonbrigl

Facebook: www.facebook.com/herrick.brigl

Currently listening to "Use it" by 28 Days

If you have any private comments, concerns, or suggestions for Herrick.  You can contact him at blog.fantasyaction@gmail.com

One of the things that defines my writing style is my fight scenes.  I have been told that they are intense, cinematic, brutal, and have a mild humor to them.  Some of you probably aren’t all that into the long setup, so below is short summary labeled "Setup", then I’ve bolded the start of the fight, so you can skip to the good stuff. 

Setup:  This is between two guys, one is named Soren, one of the two main characters in my book "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest".  He is purely a hand to hand fighter.  The other is Soka, an assassin who uses a long sword.  I hope you enjoy it.

To get you in the mood:  Listen to “Trollhammaren” by Finntroll

Soka and Soren faced off on the wooden dance floor of the bar.  The area was wide enough for the two of them to fight and not hurt others. 

Soka threw off his dark cloak and revealed a man clothed in a black tunic and long tight fitting tan pants, bound together with a rope at his waste.  His face was scrunched up in anger.  He slowly drew a long sword from his belt slowly, the blade made a hissing whisper as it was removed from the sheathe.  All the while, Soka was holding Soren firmly in his gaze.

Soren was wearing a red sleeveless shirt and loose fitting black pants.  On either hand he had sturdy metal gauntlets.  Soren bent down and stretched his back.  He turned his neck from left to right and popping it with a series of clicks in rapid succession.  Then, he proceeded to do the same with the rest of his body as he loosened up the rest of his body.

“Don’t hold back or I am going to break you.” Soka snarled at Soren.

Soren shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and slowly brought one foot behind his back.   He put his weight on it and brought an open palm up, “Wait.” he said and put his hand up to say “stop”.

Soka turned his head in curiosity.

There was a band of players to Soren’s right and they had an array of instruments.  The jaunty toons that brought the bar to life came out of their instruments.  They had everything from woodwinds, to percussion, to string instruments in their possession and were quick skilled with them. 

Soren looked over at a band of players.  He reached into his pants, pulled out a coin purse, and tossed it to them.  “Play something I can tap my foot to.” He said with a winning smile.

The band leader grabbed the purse out of the air, “One two...” he tapped off, then his band began playing a quick, pumping melody.

Soren turned his attention back to the fight, “Now, where were we?” and with a quick flick of his hand, as if to say. “Come on.” Towards Soka, the fight was on.

Soka rushed at the Soren.  He dipped and weaved right as he was about to reach him and slashed downwards with the sword.  Soren parried with one of his gauntlets and the blade clashed against the metal strapped to Soren’s arms with a shriek that sent sparks flying into the air.  The swordsman was quick and uppercut slashed at the hand to hand warrior, attempting to catch Soren from stem all the way to stern.

Soren sidestepped to the right just enough and the blade passed a hairs breath from his face. 

Quickly, before Soka could respond with a follow-up, Soren swiftly punched Soka in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of the swordsman, and stunning him for a brief moment.

The fight had taken Soren and Soka dangerously close to the edge of the arena and Soren had his back almost to the wall, despite his counter offensive.

Soka was still open for more attacks though and Soren was not done.

The quick blow had opened Soka up for another attack and Soren obliged him, putting a simple sidekick into the swordsman’s stomach, doubling him over.  Soren followed that up with a quick rising uppercut.

The crowd watching their fight let out a collective wince for the man.

Taking the opening and using the environment to his advantage, back flipped onto the wall and pushed off towards Soka.  The maneuver sent him front flipping towards Soka and just before he reached the swordsman, Soren flattened his body out, feet first.  Instead of colliding with his adversary though, Soren opted to wrap his feet around Soka’s neck instead. 

The maneuver caught Soka off guard as he was recovering his wits, once again.

Soren gave him an apologetic shrug, mid air.  As if to say, “sorry” for what was going to come next.

Soren used his momentum in a creative, instead of piling into his opponent; instead, he jerked to the right and swung around Soka.  Then, when he was directly behind his opponent, Soren curled his legs into his body and angled his body towards the ground, changing the direction of his fall, putting the weight of his jump into a powerful throw.

Soka was pulled off his feet violently and was thrown across the floor.  He skidded and tumbled along the ground, uncontrolled.  He was stopped by the other end of the dance floor, about five feet from the wall at the back of the dance floor..  A groan escaped his lips as the pain from the attack started setting in.

Soka looked up and his eyes opened with surprise. 

As Soren was about to let go of Soka, during the throw, he had planted both hands on the ground.  When he completed the attack, Soren sprang off his hands, throwing himself into a quick back spring, followed by another, another, and another to build momentum.  When Soren was almost to Soka, Soren bounded off the ground and threw himself into a spin that would have made an expert gymnast jealous.  Flattening out in the air like a sideways whirling tornado, so that his body was perpendicular with Soka’s as he neared the fallen swordsman, Soren’s spin got increasingly fast as he whipped his arms in and out, efficiently putting Soren into an almost uncontrollable rotation, arced at Soka.

Just as Soren was about to reach Soka, the warrior threw one of his legs out, shin angled down.  The entire force from the spin was pushed into his leg.

The entire room was silent and it was as if time itself was holding its breath as Soren descended.  Every person watching the fight was so enthralled, watching for the next move in the epic fight.

Soka barely had time to breath, let alone dodge.  But, it was a testament to his experience in battle that Soka kept the presence of mind to roll to the right in a desperate dodge, towards the wall of the dance floor.  Just in time. 

Soren’s leg smashed into the ground, slamming into the ground with his knee and shin flat into the wood, crushing the floor into a torrent of splinters that rose up around him in the air.

Seeing Soka dodge, most warriors would have allowed their opponent to stand up.  That was the honorable thing to do.  But, there are no rules in a bar fight.

With the speed of a cat, while the splinters were still hanging mid air, Soren spun his body around and swept his foot towards his opponents head.  The attack was so quick that Soka wasn’t hurt; it actually pushed the assassin a foot and a half into the air. 

Soka was curious, why had that not hurt?

That was Soren’s intention. Swiftly, Soren rolled forward and halfway through, slid straight, so that he slid under Soka and stopped facing the rising assassin’s back. 

Soren cocked both arms back and double punched upwards into Soka’s back.  Air whooshed from the swordsman’s lungs as he was pushed even higher into the air.  The impact from the attack gave Soren a couple feet between him and Soka.

Soren looked to his right and saw the lip of the dance floor, just an arms length away now, “This is going to hurt you, just as much as it is going to hurt me.” Soren promised Soka with a forewarned wince.

Soren quickly performed a handspring to his feet, crouched just under Soka with his legs coiled underneath him.  Soren exploded from the ground towards Soka's rising form.  He grabbed the assassin around the waist, twisted mid air, and arched the two of them towards the wall, easily angling Soka head first, towards the raised lip of the dance floor.  

Soka collided with the raised floor and his head plowed through the woodwork with a painful cracking and crunching sound as the wood shattered under the enormous pressure from the attack. 

Soren let go and managed to aim himself towards the level below.  He landed with ease and rolled to his feet.  Then, Soren looked back at the assassin and a look of brief sadness flashed across his face. 

Soka's body hung vertical for the briefest moment, suspended in an ephemeral moment in time, then he collapsed, head still firmly stuck into the ground.  The rest of him hit the ground in an uncomfortable position, but Soka was still breathing.

"That had to hurt." Soren said to himself.  He looked down at one of his hands and noticed one of his nails bleeding. "Dammit!  I broke a nail!" He exclaimed in frustration.

***

If you liked reading this blog, check Herrick Erickson-Brigl out on Twitter, or friend him on facebook if you like.  Also, to your right you will find the first three chapters of his book, "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest", listed under the "Pages" section.  It will be available May 15th in hard copy and ebook formats.


Twitter: www.Twitter.com/Hericksonbrigl
Facebook: www.facebook.com/herrick.brigl


Currently listening to "Use it" by 28 Days


If you have any private comments, concerns, or suggestions for Herrick.  You can contact him at blog.fantasyaction@gmail.com

How to Write a Fight Scene.

Writing fight scenes is hard.  There are many different factors to take into account, since they have to be visual, intricate, and detailed.  But, Without these things, a fight scene lacks believability and the flare to draw in the reader.  So, how is that done?


Fight scenes should be a cinematic experience, creating a picture in the reader's head.  So, let us take a look at movies first as an example.  Jackie Chan is known for his humor in movies, but something most people don't know is that he made his name choreographing fight scenes.  


Jackie Chan started in the Chinese Drama Academy, also known as Chinese opera, one of the most grueling theater schools on the planet.  The instructors have the parents sign contracts that state, they can cane the kids within an inch of their lives.  So, without going into too much detail, he has incredible fortitude to survive.


Jackie Chan uses the information he learned at the Chinese Drama Academy to choreograph the fight scenes in his later movies (by later, when he was not an extra).  These fights he designed are lauded for their creativity and inventiveness.  He used improvised weapons, such as benches and chairs in the scenes, thus creating truly unique and genuinely interesting scenes that added to the comedic value of the drama.


So, what seperates and ordinary fight scenes from the truly epic?  Be they hand to hand or fire fights, knowledge of the martial arts and/or firearms is absolutely imperative when writing these.  Otherwise, the fights end up being humdrum.  And, if a writer does not have direct training, Then, action movies are a great substitute to support the content you want to write up.  Watch hundred of movies, like some old style kung fu movies, hong kong epics, John Wu movies, and Micheal Bay's stuff (hey, explosions work).


The first example is an ordinary fight scene that was written to be normal.  The fight is simple and easy to follow.  This was done purposefully for comparison.


To set the fight up, John is good and Sam is bad.

***

Standard Fight Scene:

    John grabbed Sam by the hair and tripped him.  His opponent lost his balance and tumbled towards the wall behind them both.

    Sam tried to right himself mid air, but it was too late.

    With a quick yank, John sent his opponent’s head into the wall and caused a dull wet “Thunk”.  
    Sam slumped against the wall unconscious.

***

The description of the fight was not bad, but neither was it memorable either.  It lacked the kick in the face that leaves no room for doubt, this guy is out cold.

Now, here is an example that was written with the same intent, but John was replaced with Soren, one of the two main characters from"A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest", written by Herrick Erickson-Brigl. 

***

The Awesome Version!

    Soren opened up the start of the fight with a palm slam to Sam’s throat.

    A gurgle escaped the stunned man’s mouth when his windpipe was cut off unexpectedly.

    Keeping his hand in place, Soren lifted Sam off the ground with a running push.

    Sam scrambled for balance midair, but he did not have time to find traction under the hectic circumstances, before his body was slammed into the wall behind.  The concussive force of the impact rattled the entire room.     

   Soren let go of Sam and grabbed the falling man by the hair.  When Sam touched down, Soren jerked his head back, and pile drove it into the wall ruthlessly.  The attack created a cracked crater in the wood.

     A groan escaped Sam's lips and a small part of him hoped it was over, but the pessimist inside knew there was more to come.

     A brutal punch from Soren blindsided Sam in the side of his head.  There was enough force behind the attack to transfer into the wood on the other side of Sam's cheek.
     The crater in the wall crunched even farther in and a crack extended out nearly five feet, then with a loud shattering bang, the wall collapsed inwards, driving Sam's head through.

     Splinters flew in all directions, flying passed Soren's head in a torrent of wild spinning wooden spikes.
     As the dust settled, Soren stepped back, crossed his arms, and watched his opponent.  There was a strange hint of sadness in his eyes, "Oops, I think I overdid it." he said to himself.  A smile played at the edge of his mouth.

     Sam tensed briefly and then slumped as his body swayed, ever so slightly from left to right.

***

That is not an excerpt from "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest", but it was written by Herrick Erickson-Brigl, just for you the reader.  Since writing is subjective, it is up to you to decide its quality.  But, hopefully this simple fight scene illustrates the purpose of this article.  Admittedly, this is not overly technical.  But, the next one will be.  


Coming soon, there will be a full fight scene it will be posted up and it will use the martial arts to their fullest.  You will witness multiple styles, flashy attacks, and technical descriptions.  Once again, this will be written by Herrick Erickson-Brigl and does not appear within "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest".  But, here is a promise, it will be an elegant punch in the face, followed by a sip of wine.

***

If you liked reading this blog, check Herrick Erickson-Brigl out on Twitter, or friend him on facebook if you like.  Also, to your right you will find the first three chapters of his book, "A Scholar's Journey: The Divine Tempest", listed under the "Pages" section.  It will be available May 15th in hard copy and ebook formats.


Twitter: www.Twitter.com/Hericksonbrigl
Facebook: www.facebook.com/herrick.brigl


Currently listening to "Use it" by 28 Days


If you have any private comments, concerns, or suggestions for Herrick.  You can contact him at blog.fantasyaction@gmail.com

***

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